How to Use Sex Toys for the First Time: A Beginner’s Guide to Confidence and Pleasure

How to Use Sex Toys (Without the Awkward)

Because pleasure should feel personal—not like a puzzle.

Estimated Reading Time: 8–10 minutes

Let’s Start With This: You’re Not Alone

Whether you’re curious, cautious, or just finally ready to try that thing you’ve been Googling late at night—there’s zero shame in wanting to know how to use a sex toy. In fact, more people than ever are exploring adult toys for the first time.

And the benefits? They go way beyond the bedroom.

According to research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, sex toy use is associated with increased sexual satisfaction, better communication, and even improved body confidence.

Real Talk: What It Actually Feels Like the First Time

"I was nervous I wouldn’t do it 'right'"
“I remember holding my first vibrator and thinking—what if I just feel… nothing? But then I took a breath, turned it on the lowest setting, and let it buzz against the inside of my wrist. It made me laugh out loud. That broke the tension. The next thing I knew, I was actually excited.”
—Jess, 34

"We bought a couples toy... and then stared at it for a week"
“We were excited. Then we got intimidated. It sat in the drawer for six days before we finally opened it together. There was some awkwardness, but also a lot of laughing. Now it's part of our weekend ritual.”
—Liam & Dani

1. Why Use a Sex Toy Anyway?

• Stress relief: Orgasms release endorphins, which reduce stress and help improve sleep.
• Body awareness: The Kinsey Institute highlights that toy use increases body literacy and confidence.
• Pelvic health: According to Cleveland Clinic, vibrators support blood flow and pelvic floor strength.
• Emotional well-being: The Journal of Sexual Medicine links toy use with improved mood and self-esteem.

2. Choose the Right Toy for You

Start with something that feels approachable—not intimidating.

• If you're solo and new: A small clitoral vibrator or smooth silicone dildo is beginner-friendly.
• If you're exploring with a partner: Try a quiet waterproof vibrator for shared discovery.
• If you’re G-spot curious: Try a beginner-friendly G-spot vibrator—curved and body-safe.

Check out our First Timers Collection for curated beginner options.

3. Set the Scene Without the Pressure

• Dim the lights
• Silence notifications
• Use a playlist or background noise
• Apply water-based lube (it helps!)

“I didn’t orgasm the first time. But I felt... at ease. Like I was allowed to explore my own body without judgment.”
—Sophie, 29

4. How to Use a Sex Toy for the First Time

• Turn it on before using—get familiar with the settings
• Try it on your arm or thigh to test intensity
• Start externally: clitoris, nipples, perineum
• Insert gently if using internal toys
• Experiment with movement and pressure

5. Aftercare = Self Care

• Wash your toy with soap and water or toy-safe cleaner
• Dry thoroughly
• Recharge or remove batteries
• Store in a clean pouch or box

Need help? Read our Sex Toy Cleaning Guide.

6. It’s Not Just About Sex—It’s About Confidence

A 2021 survey by Maude found that 73% of toy users felt more confident and 62% said it improved communication around desires. Sex toys aren’t about replacing a partner. They’re about expanding your understanding of pleasure—solo or shared.

Final Thought: Start Where You Are

You don’t need to be an expert. You just need a starting point that feels good to you.

We built Wet & Wild Pleasure to be a space where pleasure doesn’t come with pressure. Explore on your terms—and enjoy the journey.